This is the story of Kacey’s blended family from Perth who have called themselves eclectic homeschoolers for the last three years. Her four children aged 19, 17, 6 and 4 have all had contrasting educational experiences, from thriving in the system, to never being able to catch up, to sidestepping school all together. In this honest and candid conversation, Kacey and I chat about school trauma, holistic, child-centred learning, finding yourself in homeschooling, the ins and outs of building a community co-op and yearning for something outside of motherhood.
This is Episode 37 of Australian Homeschool Stories - Kacey’s Story.
Summary:
“It doesn’t matter how old your children get, they still need you for emotional support.”
Born & bred in WA, Kacey attended the same small primary school that her grandfather went to. She loved the early years of her schooling and recalls them being filled with play and projects.
Her parents never focused on academics and there was no competitiveness within their family regarding grades and reports. However, she never found her people in high school, never felt that she really fitted in. As such she ended up leaving school half way through her final year to pursue her diploma in visual/fine art before becoming a mother at 20 years of age.
On reflection she can confidently say she found her niche in becoming a mum. She is a serial studier who over the years has completed her education assistant certificate, studied counselling and community services, and is now on the precipice of completing her teaching degree.
Kacey dabbled with the idea of homeschooling her eldest daughter when she was in kindergarten, but being a single mum at the time, the circumstances weren’t right. There also wasn’t the community and support available in Perth that there is nowadays.
Whilst her second born son thrived in the structured school environment, her daughter always struggled. Extraneous circumstances due to an absent teacher meant her daughter’s first year at school was a write off and she never recovered from that lost year. Other teachers failed over the years to assist her bridge the gap, saying there was nothing they could do to help her daughter, and Kacey recalls suffering burnout as a parent from all the advocating she was having to do.
In high school, bullying was so extreme she had to change schools and from then on flew under the radar.
Having been skeptical of the system since the beginning, Kacey brought her daughter home in year 11 to homeschool. There was nowhere else for her to go. She had school burn out. She had trauma. Kacey hadn’t realise the extent of how far behind she had fallen.
Homeschooling for her daughter was a time of pure deschooling and nothing else. A time to sit with all the feelings of what had happened for her.
In amongst of all of this, her son was flourishing.
But for her daughter’s experience to be so traumatic meant their family sustained that trauma too.
Kacey felt responsible for what her daughter had had to endure over her school years.
Now as a student, she finds her teaching degree polarising. What is being taught isn’t what actually goes on. Again, she finds herself questioning the system at large.
“Some of the stuff that I’m learning is so holistically set, but we are not actually implementing that into schools.”
Kacey had a long stint as a stay at home mum with her two elder children and felt she was ready to step back into the workforce once her younger two began nearing school age.
“I wanted to nurture them through those early years. I didn’t want a system having more sway than us.”
When her third born daughter began preschool, there were red flags and her child wasn’t coping. Kacey felt conflicted.
“What about me having something outside of motherhood?”
At first she bought all the curriculum and all the resources, did all the things, and went way over the top. But she found a whole other level of being a mum, parenting and connecting with her children.
Her husband is the biggest champion of their homeschooling lifestyle.
“Days when I think to myself, I don’t think I can do this or are we doing the right thing… He advocates hard that this is our path and this is what’s working for our family. But we don’t want to jeopardise myself or our family unit.”
“It’s a wonderful life homeschooling. It’s such a privilege to homeschool.”
You can find yourself in homeschooling.
“I’ve learnt so much more about myself than I have in my whole lifetime.”
Her extended family have never questioned the choices they’ve made, they just got on board. Kacey’s mother in particular really appreciates how much time they get to spend with the girls.
Kacey shares how she created her Wildlings co-op, which has evolved over the last two years. She found that her girls struggled socially in free play groups and she wanted something more collaborative.
“It can be hard to find your people in the homeschooling community. Not all of us start our homeschooling journeys from a good space. We all have a little bit of baggage and can be apprehensive.”
She had a vision she could create a community which tied in everyone’s skill sets but in hindsight she didn’t communicate her vision clearly enough. Her original offering wasn’t serving the purpose of trying to find her people and for her kids to find their people. She feels strongly that even within community, you still need leadership.
“This is our why, this our philosophy, this is what we want to accomplish so people can make a decision, be fully informed and decide if it does or doesn’t align with their learning style and whether or not this community is for them.”
She took 6 months off, researched what other people were doing and honing in on what her why was, what their style was, what her two girls needed and the type of community they wanted to build for them.
She describes Wildlings now as a holistic, child centred meet up with intentional offerings. It’s collaborative learning with no pressure. Kacey wanted it to be somewhere where both she and her girls could go and that all felt welcome.
They run their co-op out of the local environment centre, by leasing a community garden plot which is their family’s gift to their community. They are also investing back into their local community by attendees having to purchase memberships to the environmental centre.
She encourages others to seek these spaces out in their own local areas, go and have a chat.
“If you can’t find your village or community - build one.”
Homeschooling has built her confidence because you have to put yourself out there. The opportunities it has given their family and the community she has been able to create are wonderful.
Their eclectic style of homeschooling is rooted in slow, seasonal, family learning, where they try not to take on too much. More intentional learning happens during winter and autumn when they are more home based, then they evolve into unschooling and take all summer off.
“It’s all learning, it’s just looks different.”
Being a FIFO family means that their weeks ebb and flow too. They are always doing something every day when her husband is home and then have quieter weeks when dad is away at work.
It’s easy to get stagnant in homeschooling, but we need to listen to our children more about what they are needing.
She started out doing school at home, then more sensory play, then unschooling. As much as Kacey loved the unschooling lifestyle, she found her daughter needed more structure. She now borrows from here, there and everywhere to craft their eclectic homeschooling approach.
Kacey had to learn to ask for help and to not have mum guilt in doing things that serve her as well.
“If you are happy, centred and balanced your family will be happy, centred and balanced.”
“I am not anti-school. I believe that schooling has a place and is very much needed. Some children thrive, some children don’t.”
Homeschooling is a giving task. You are constantly expelling your energy all of the time so you need to find things that really light you up, so you don’t burn out.
Her advice to others:
“Read your child. Hone in on your why. Read everything you can. Reach out to your communities. Ultimately, dive in.”
Inspiration
Issy Butson - Stark Raving Dad
Lucy Aitken-Read - Disco Learning
Ainsley Arment - Wild + Free
Teach Your Own by John Holt
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
The Brave Learner by
Connect
Instagram - @homeschooling.our.wildflowers
Instagram - @wildlingshomeschool.collective
This podcast is recorded on the lands of the Bunurong people of the Kulin nation. I pay my respects to elders past, present and emerging and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded. This always was, always will be aboriginal land.
Original Music by Daniel Garrood @garroodcomposer
Listen on Spotify here
Australian Homeschool Stories the podcast can be heard on all major podcast streaming platforms.
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